How do I cope with office life when there is no work?

The problem
I work in corporate finance and for the past four years routinely worked 14-hour days. Now work has dried up and we are all sitting around pretending to be busy and failing to drum up business. I am finding the boredom far more stressful than I ever found the work. I don't know how I should behave. I am tempted to take three-hour lunches with friends, then go home early to learn salsa dancing. But would that be begging to be first in line when the axe inevitably falls?
Investment banker, male, 27LUCY'S ANSWER
Being bored at work is painful; being bored as a prelude to being fired is torture.
You ask what the work etiquette is for this situation. You already know the answer: if everyone else is sitting at their desks bored witless, pretending to work, the etiquette demands that you do so too.
What is interesting in your case is that the penalties for ignoring etiquette are lower than normal. This period of boredom will end with the fall of the axe and you will probably be fired, but so, probably, will they. Unless your bank is even less wise than the competition, it will not decide who to keep on the basis of who was best at faking industriousness when there was nothing to do.
So some slacking is safe, but I don't think you can ignore the political game altogether. In normal times office politics is a part-time sport slotted in around work. But now that there is no work, your colleagues will be doing politics full-time. If I were you I would set out to play this game sparingly but efficiently. Be in the office long enough to find out what people are saying. Otherwise leave your jacket on the back of your chair and make it seem as if you are at meetings. Skive intelligently.
As you hate emptiness, I suggest you write a plan to get through the days. Allocate time for looking busy, time for picking up the gossip and time for your own affairs.
I should warn you of one thing. As you have always worked 14-hour days, you'll be a skiving virgin, and constitutionally may not be cut out for it. The first salsa lesson on office time, like the first few three-hour lunches, may give you a thrill but after that you may find they start to pall. But then you can always devote yourself to what you really should be doing now: finding a career with better prospects.
YOUR ADVICE
Fishing
Employment is not just about working; it is also about being available for work. Rather like fishing or fielding in the slips, you sometimes need to be there for a long time when nothing is happening in order to be there when something does happen. Stay at your desk and practise looking eager and intelligent.
Academic, male, 45
Shoe leather
For all your energy and brains, you are gloriously obtuse about new realities. You and your shoes are about to start shining a lot of marble floors looking for a job. The axe has already fallen. A clue: the political marketplace has replaced you with partially nationalised lenders in no mood blithely to leverage investment banks. You and your yum-yums blew it by staying at the greed circus way too long. Good luck.
Salsa dancing – as a hobby or career?
Lawyer, male, 67
Enjoy it
I was in this exact situation once. Instead of taking three-hour lunches and leaving early, I sat faithfully at my desk for six months, worried sick. The axe fell anyway.
Looking back on it, I felt stupid for not using the free time by relaxing more. And my presence caused my employer stress since it was a daily reminder that they couldn't keep me busy and were paying me to stare out of the window. So I say make yourself scarce – take the time off.
Lawyer, male
Soup line
How about thinking and acting on behalf of others for once? You could donate your labour hours to a local food bank. Who knows, you might be able to drum up new clients in the soup line.
Male, anon